I love my friends and my boyfriend, and consequently they love me too.

Quite an intense heading to begin with but how and ever. I’m emphasizing all the my’s in the above title because lately I’ve been triggered, maybe prompted is a better word to use, to write a post like this. First of all, I, in no way, want to glorify any of what I’ve experienced. I know that in the past year, I haven’t had the best track record of what I’ve said about my friend’s relationships, but they’re my friends and to that extent I’m only saying what I’m saying because I care. But it tremendously annoys me, to the point of where I can’t speak about it without squinting my eyes and using vulgar language, for people to express how annoying it can be for other people to completely devote themselves to their partner.

I’ve heard and seen too many statuses and tweets and whatever else, to not convey my own opinion on the subject. Whether it’s a ‘can’t relate and don’t want to’ or girls being told to get over themselves because they like ‘boasting’ about their relationship. Note that I’ll be saying girls a lot rather than boys because the majority of this, well as much as I know of, is of girls. They’re not boasting and they’re definitely not trying to rub it in your face, it’s called pride, or more like self-satisfaction, that you’re able to spend your current time with someone that you experience to be amazing.

Which brings me onto the next thing that kills me to read. And it’s when people are accused of dropping their friends the minute they get a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I for one, never really took part in the fascination of the opposite sex when I was growing up. I was the last of my friends to ever kiss a boy. And when I did, the fuss and the attention that swarmed around me was enough to put me off for another while, anyway. I’m not saying any of this for consolation, I’m just offering some of a background to what I plan to say later. Through my years of secondary school, I was never sought after and the boys that I did like, I was way too anxious to even attempt to talk to them. During this time, I was surrounded by girls, some who are still my close friends, who were constantly in and out of relationships and talking about prospective boys and what not. And I sat there with all that I could offer which was simply a set of ears because I could never offer an opinion. This was so much the case, that some were reluctant to talk about anything, for lack of better word; intimate, with me because they thought that it would repel me. I was never ‘dropped’ by my friends. I’m talking about my close friends now. I was always introduced to their subsequent others. If I ever did feel slightly alone, I never really reacted in a vindictive way. Maybe I was dropped, I don’t know, I just was never bothered enough by it because it was something that I understood I didn’t have an opinion on.

During fifth year, I finally found a boy that I myself could advance with. That’s not to say that it was easy for me, we used to go two and three weeks without seeing each other and I’d cease up if any of my friends inquired about him. Upon starting a relationship with him,  I was blamed for dropping my friend/friends.  Before I go any further, this is not backlash at all. I’m not sneering or trying to be nasty by saying any of this. Now looking back on it, respectively, it probably seemed like I abandoned that person/persons. But for me, he was the most fascinating thing, and he still is. Maybe it was because I had never done this before with anyone, that I wanted to completely allot a huge part of me to him. But I think that if I was able to allow my friends space away from me so they could spend more time and energy with their partner, then surely, I should be granted that too. And not just me, but everyone.

That’s why I hate when people are accused of this. Undoubtedly, if someone is entirely engrossed in a person then they’re friends should understand. Envy is fine until it starts to turn hateful. And these indirect ‘if you drop your mates as soon as you get into a relationship, you’re stupid’ comments are only attempts at trying to belittle whoever they’re intended for. Just bloody be glad or at least supportive for your friend, who obviously means a deal to you, that they’ve found somebody that they want to give themselves completely up for.

Not going to say an abundance about how it’s just jealousy and that if you experienced the same happiness they are, you’d understand, because I don’t really care about those specifics that much. To me it’s on the opposite end of the spectrum. If you decide to think that someone has intentionally dropped you because they’ve picked up something better then that’s probably something deeper, in regard to the friendship you both have with one another. It’s hard to write a post like this without using names and continually saying ‘someone’ or ‘they’, but I’m trying my hardest.

I’ve seen so much of this recently and as someone who has felt completely alone while her friends have been in relationships. I would consider it common decency to offer them as much space as they wanted. Yes, I don’t want to be used, but I care enough to hang around and take what I can get regardless of the terms. If you want to be a part of someone's life, then don't use the excuse like; they're in a relationship now and they don't want me anymore, just continue making an effort and fathom, if you will, that starting a relationship with someone is an important thing. 

This post is probably offensive as much as it is relatable, but it’s my opinion and if I can say it to some people surely, I can write about it.

Just a few tweets, as evidence of what grinds my gears. 

No hard feelings I guess, you do you. Just offering my opinion, apologies to any conniptions this may cause.